April 2011 | Love146.org

21
Apr

Real Men Posted by Rob Morris

If you do not know by now, Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore recently launched their “Real Men Don’t Buy Girls” Campaign through their organization the DNA Foundation. There has been a lot of media buzz surrounding the campaign and even some debate over how effective it is in addressing the demand that fuels the exploitation and trafficking of children.

When I speak at an event, people often ask; “What can I do?’ In addition to giving some practical ideas of how people can engage with ending modern day slavery, I tell people to bring what they already have to the movement. Contributing their education, vocation, life experience, talents, finances, etc., can make a difference.

I think Ashton and Demi are doing just that. They are leveraging their public platforms, influence, relationships, technology, and yes…even sense of humor to provoke, challenge, and shed light on an issue that few want to talk about. The Real Men Campaign is designed to increase awareness and get people talking. And yes…awareness alone is never enough. But it is something. And if that awareness leads to effective action then we are one day closer to ending the trafficking and exploitation of children. I agree with Emerson who said; “An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory.”

Personally…I’ve never opened a beer bottle with a remote control. I’ve never shaved with a chainsaw. I’ve never made a grilled cheese sandwich with an iron. And honestly, if I snapped my ankle in half, coming down from a jump shot…I would probably just lie there in pain and not get up.
So...I’ve added my own thoughts to what I think a real man is:

Real men not only don’t buy girls, they don’t see ANY human being as a commodity or an object to be used for their own instant gratification.

Real men rebel against a culture that continually normalizes the objectification and exploitation of women and girls.

Real men treat women and girls with respect and champion gender equality, refusing to tolerate gender bias or discrimination.

Real men are proud of and not threatened by empowered women in their lives.

Real men raise their sons to respect women and girls by the way they treat their own wives, girl friends and daughters.

Real men raise their own daughters to be confident in the understanding that their value and worth (as girls…or as human beings for that matter) is based on who they are and not on their sexuality.

Real men empower their daughters to believe and know that they can be anything they aspire to be.

Real men love their daughters in a way that they grow up feeling safe, cared for, loved and cherished so they won’t have to look somewhere else to have those needs met, making them vulnerable to those with evil intentions.

Real men don’t abandon their families when the going gets tough or the “grass looks greener on the other side”, leaving their wife and children wondering what a “real man” really is.

Real men respect and appreciate vulnerability instead of take advantage of it.

Real men practice self-control.

Real men speak up, call each other out and hold each other accountable to all of the above.

Hopefully, campaigns and movements challenge and affect the way we live. And if we are ever going to see the end of the exploitation and trafficking of children, then men have to live differently. We have to LIVE like “real men.” And that’s the hard part. But that’s the part that will change everything. That’s the part that matters in the end.

The reality is that it’s easier to “walk it off” than it is to live a life worthy of being called a “real man.”
What would you add to this list? Finish the sentence: Real Men…

Rob

President & Cofounder of Love146

Follow me on twitter here and contribute to the conversation the @DNAFoundation has sparked. Finish the sentence on twitter: #RealMen ....?

14
Apr

The Momentum of a Gift Posted by Marilyn de Guehery

Every Wednesday over lunch, Love146 staff in our U.S. office meet to discuss what's happening in the organization and the Abolition movement. Yesterday, as usual, the 15 of us squeezed in with our sandwiches around a table that should comfortably seat six. Then something unusual happened: Love146's co-founders, Rob, Lamont, and Desirea, began sharing about "the early days."

I know about the vast work of Love146 today; that we presently have programs ongoing in 13 countries from Moldova to Myanmar; they are the subject of most staff meetings. But yesterday we took a walk down memory lane. I learned that six years ago, Love146 funded the building of ten wells along the border of Thailand and Cambodia that would prevent children from being trafficked on their journey for water. I learned that eight years ago, Love146 provided tons of musical instruments for a safehome (Rob and Desirea laughed about that day they'd cleared out two whole music stores in Northern Thailand). And then, four years ago, Love146 funded the construction of three homes for survivors transitioning out of the care of that same safehome in Thailand. There's been a safehome built just for girls under 12 in Thailand, a therapy room floating on a river at a safehome in Cambodia... the stories went on and on (see more here).

The amazing thing was hearing my coworkers then catch one another up on the continued impact of these "past" projects… they are not so past after all. Survivors are still reclaiming their lives in these transition homes we built. The healing rhythm of those drums and guitars can still be heard from that safehome in Northern Thailand. Because of those wells, Cambodian children are in school today instead of making long trips to fetch water that make them vulnerable to trafficking.

As someone who designs our giving forms, the phrase "one-time gift" came to mind… One-time? I was struck by how very inaccurate that is. I realized yesterday that the gifts you have given over the years are not so limited. The ripples continue… the momentum of Love that is generated is not something that can be so contained to one moment in time; to even the life of one child.

In the midst of a time when Love146 is feeling a more acute financial need, I'm humbled by the impact your donations have. And I'm so thankful for your continued donations, that are not "one-time gifts" but beginnings.

11
Apr

Saturday Morning Cartoons Posted by Marilyn de Guehery

This weekend on Saturday morning I got up and decided I wanted to design. Now. Thankfully there's no end to what I can design for Love146, so I walked to our office.

In many ways my desk here in Love146's New Haven office is a bit like my sanctuary: where I can feel what must be felt, created what must be created, and be fully authentic. I love being at Love146, at "work." It's hard sometimes to leave on Fridays and I sneak in on weekends.

Walking in the door of the Love146 office I heard a shriek- the woman who cleans was here and I'd startled her. We laughed, I settled in, turned on some Amos Lee, and got to work. About twenty minutes later, in the thick of my creative rhythm, there was an interruption and we both wound up in tears… The woman who cleans our office also went home and blogged about the "interruption" into both of our Saturdays. Reblogged is her take:

Unbreak my heart…no wait... don't.

(reblogged from This Cuckoo's Nest)

so, i clean an office on the weekends. i took the job because it takes no preparation, it is (quite honestly) mindless, and i can be alone for an hour or so with my thoughts. i went in today and started my little routine and it was anything but thoughtless. the office i clean is for an organization called LOVE146. they work towards abolishing slavery, human trafficking and freeing and restoring children who are forced in to the sex trade. now, when i am there, i never look at anything. ANYTHING. it is a sensitive kind of place with, what i feel, is personal and emotional information on too many precious people. so i never look...occasionally i will leave an obnoxious note on a friends desk, but that is as far as i go. today as i mopped, i saw on a book shelf what seemed to be a childrens book. it caught my eye so i picked it up and opened it. it was a book written to educate street kids on the dangers of predators. the images were not striking or graphic. the text was not in english. but the message was clear. and the message broke my heart.

the idea of children being hurt in such a way was too much for me to think about this morning and i broke. i cried and cried. a woman who works there was in her office and talked me down a bit..by talking about hope and healing and loving others...all the things you would hope she would say. i said to myself and to her, i dont know how any of them work there, how theirs hearts can take it day after day...but now that they have that knowledge, how can they NOT be there to offer hope to such beloved and hurting little ones.

i am not sheltered. i have traveled the world and met real people with real hurts. i loved and lost in india..i've held dying women. really. i have even known about this issue for a long time, some of my closest people work for and even started this organization. but today, for some reason, was my day to be broken. to feel a sliver of what those children, young woman...any one enslaved, might feel. just a sliver, and it was enough. enough to break my heart. enough, to come home and write about it. enough to encourage anyone who reads this to click on my link at the top of the page and go to their website and become a sponsor. find your place in helping to heal someone..someone you dont know..but it could be anyone. so think about your neices, nephews, sisters, brothers...what would you do for them in that situation, how far would you go? think about it. and maybe you will choose to stand for freedom, justice and hope for these young ones.

I guess I've come to see an occaisional good cry as a part of working at Love146; it's our privilidge to shed tears for those who don't presently have the luxury of doing so... someone should cry. And it was a welcome interruption to remember that this is a movement of the broken hearted. Our hearts are broken and inside we've found something beautiful, powerful and inevitably compelling. And that's why we're here, in an office in Connecticut on a Saturday morning bringing whatever we can for Abolition. Our mops, our sketchbooks, and our broken hearts.

07
Apr

Update from Ukraine Posted by Gaz Kishere

A few of us are in Ukraine right now to meet various partners to develop a prevention strategy for at risk youth and to explore the role our Escape magazine can play in this. Most of those we are meeting represent regional groups working with orphans -- the group at the top of the pile when it comes to targeting those most at risk for commercial sexual exploitation in this country.

We have come to Kiev now to meet with people at the tail end of a national conference on orphans. In many respects, this has been perfectly timed to catch care givers at their most heightened state of passion as practitioners working with children. We have also heard from care givers when they are at their most raw, fully aware of what is not working, the desperation of the situation and the lack of resources at their disposal.

Officially there are 106,000 orphans in care facilities in the Ukraine. This is the statistic we can say is a statement of fact, these are the relatively lucky ones who make it into care. There are an estimated 4 -500,000 children classed as orphans in this country, living life on the edge, excluded from family, love and support.

Let’s just focus on those in the best care provision available to them: 40% end up with alcohol and drug addiction, 40% in crime and prison, 10% end up committing suicide and just 10% make it through to some kind of viable employment and stable lifestyle, according to statistics shared at the Ukraine National Conference on Orphans. These statistics are staggering and it should come as no surprise that the majority of the girls find themselves coerced or forced into prostitution, many from an early age, many while they are still in the care of the homes.

One of the groups we are partnering with is Circle of Friends who are very involved in trying to intervene in this vicious cycle. Circle of Friends really caught the value of sharing the beauty and the hope of the children in their care through their images. This was an opportunity to evaluate whether Escape magazine would make an impact and it was concluded that Escape offers them a glimpse of hope, of a wider world where the narrative is not set or limited. Escape magazine is a tool to contribute to their healing and wholeness, their sense of place in the world, and to make them aware of those who would seek to prey on them and further rob them of a future.

We are delighted to partner with such people, to work on behalf of such beautiful young people and, in any way we can, to cut this cycle of exclusion and marginalisation and to fend off those professional exploiters and ruthless opportunists who seek to profit from such vulnerability.

Escape magazine will launch fully in September 2011 in regional strategic contexts with the partnerships we are forming. We are looking to make a national impact as we work with others towards the 2012 European Soccer Championships to be held in Ukraine.