I have a reoccurring nightmare. The place changes but the theme is always the same. There are a group of children who have been trafficked for sex. I run in and free some of them. I take the children to a safe place and immediately go back for the rest, only I can't save the rest. Something always happens. I yell, I scream, I fight but I'm never strong enough, I can never get them all out.

I am alone.

I had that nightmare again last night. But this morning I remembered a story from one of our projects and it changed everything.

There is a border between Cambodia and Thailand that is notorious for the trafficking of humans. I've been there. It doesn't look menacing or complicated like I had imagined. It looks like a wide dirt road with people passing one way or the other, with a few policemen standing about.

Love146 mobilized, co-trained  and funded a coalition of 41 volunteers from non-profits working in Cambodia, along with15 volunteers from the community around this boarder, to work with the local police as border protection officers. I've met some of these border officers. They are vigilant in the protection of children taken across the border. They wear official vests so children and adults recognize them (but when I think of them, I picture them in super hero outfits).

One year ago, *Rithisak, a young boy was "rented" to a trafficker over the border for $6.38 per month. When the boarder officers investigated the situation, they immediately took Rithisak to a safe home. Today, one year later, Rithisak is a happy child who has received therapy, education and a home.

One of our founding tenets at Love146 is the belief that in order to see slavery end we must work together with organizations, people and communities to end it.

No one can do this alone.
In this work nightmares are a reality but these nightmares are forever changed because we are not alone. Through you, through community members, through other organizations, we will see change. We will see the dream of abolition become a reality.

with Love,

Desirea

Thank you all for your amazing response to Ann Marie's story. Your prayers, positive energy and words are deeply appreciated. We will keep you posted on the court case and Ann Marie's continuing story. 

I want to extend another thank you to Shara Worden of the band My Brightest Diamond. Shara's song "Be Brave" is the song I quoted in my last blog. Shara sent us an email saying that she would like all of the proceeds from the sale of the Be Brave Dear One tee shirt to come to Love146! 

In Shara's own words:

"Be Brave, dear one. Be ye changed or be undone. Since I have several friends who are working with non-profits to raise awareness of this reality, and try to help prevent human trafficking, I decided this was a small thing I could do to help.  I’ve known the founders of Love146 for 10 years and I trust them.  I believe in their work.  So I thought for starters, I could make a tee shirt, a little prayer, a hopeful wish for those people who are trapped, to trust that change will come. "  

If you would like to purchase this shirt, please visit Ink In Bloom. All proceeds come directly to Love146. 

It does "take trust that change will come." Let us work, let us educate ourselves, let us pray, let us Love. Change will come. 

Abolition,

Desirea

I clicked "quit" on my Skype and hung my head in silence. My first thought, "I kind of want to kill him." Ten girls (that we know of) have been threatened, coerced or given money to not testify against their rapist. The only girls who will testify are the three that are in our Round Home. 

Ann Marie was 7 when her parents separated, at 10 her mother left her with an aunt and uncle. Ann Marie wanted so much to attend school but her family had no means. When she was 13 her aunt told her that she would be taken to a place where she could receive an education. Instead, Ann Marie was taken to a cult and given to a "holy man" called "Daddy." She was not the only child brought him, Ann Marie was told by Daddy and the cult members that she was not allowed to attend school and if she tried to leave the compound her entire family would be punished by God and she would become sick. 

For almost a year Ann Marie was repeatedly raped by Daddy in religious rituals, these rituals were meant to "cleanse her of her sins." After each ritual and rape, she was given a pamphlet on devotional prayer. Once, she escaped with some of the other girls but eventually returned because Daddy and the cult members knew where her family lived and Ann Marie was afraid her family would be hurt or killed. 

Eventually she was rescued and brought to a government shelter. There, she had difficulty sleeping because she could always see Daddy’s face and her abuse in her mind.

She expressed to her rescuers, that she wanted to go to school and be a lawyer someday. It was then decided that in order for her dream to be realized, she should be referred to the Round Home.

Ann Marie came to the Round Home in June, she is 16 and excelling at school. 

Her decision to testify against Daddy was a major one. Not only did she have to face her rapist but all of the members of the cult that attended each day of his trial. She was questioned, and with her words, she relived the exploitation and abuse. Ann Marie and our staff of the Love146 Round Home were surrounded by armed guards with machine guns for protection but that didn't keep the cult members from surrounding them after the testimony, it didn't protect Ann Marie from their words and the fear. She was scheduled to testify again last week, only to be told that the testimony will be postponed until January. 

After the Skype call ended, after hearing the news that Ann Marie would again be put through the hell of testimony and that hell was now waiting for her four months down the road, my thoughts began to drift to the man who calls himself Daddy, these thoughts were dark with brutal justice, vivid with vengeful images. Daddy should be a word sacred and loving to little girls, not bastardized and used for control, brain wash and torture. I turned on music to clear thoughts and what came on was a song with the line "be brave dear one." Over and over I sang be "brave dear one, be brave." As I chanted, Daddy and his exploitation left my mind and only Ann Marie remained. Chanting may not help the court case or bring justice but it reminded me that hate will not heal and abolition will only come through Love.

~Desirea

Co-founder, Chief Story Crusader - Love146

Dr. Glenn Miles our director of Asia Prevention emailed this blog post to me. Having been to Toul Sleng, I found it touching and disturbing. It also inspired me throughout the day in the Love146 office. 

I (Dr. Miles) was orientating someone to Cambodia and showed them around Toul Sleng, the genocide museum which was previously used as a place to torture and kill people in 1975-9. There is something very disturbing seeing the images of the victims with numbers on them. During the genocide political prisoners and their families were taken to Toul Sleng to be tortured and after they had made their 'confessions' they were killed. Before they were killed they were numbered and photographed as a gruesome record of everyone who had gone through Toul Sleng. Some of the prisoners were raped by the guards. As we were going around my eye fell on those whose numbers were 145 and 146 and it occurred to me that today there are still girls and boys being tortured and sexually violated in Cambodia today. It is time that the torture stops. Please help us to help to stop child sex slavery and exploitation. Nothing less. 

Another photo that motivated me today was from a couple weeks ago in the Philippines. This is a view (sorry for the poor quality) of a training in aftercare class led by Dr. Gundelina Velazco. If you want to know who is fighting in the field for the lives of children, it is the adults pictured below who are all currently working in safehomes/shelters. 

I hope this day finds you motivated toward abolition and humming with hope,

Desirea 

Desirea Rodgers

Co-founder, Chief Story Crusader, Love146

When I saw the t-shirt that Sevenly designed to raise funds for Love146 I immediately thought of Dr. Gundelina Velazco's story of two gems. 

One girl is deaf and mentally retarded, the other has a mental disorder and is also mentally retarded. Both were trafficked on the streets in the Philippines when they were very young.  Both are now in the Round Home. 

They have found a friend in each other. On days when there is no school they hang out at the door of Dr. Velazco's office. They hang out talking from morning until evening, only breaking for meals and scheduled activities. 

"...one could see that beneath the brokenness caused by exploitation by other people, there is the core of kindness, thoughtfulness, and sweetness –  rare finds in the world they came from. I feel privileged every time I am touched by their humane core and wonder how could other people have done what they did to these children." 

"They are like gems that shine in the dark, like the moon that gives light in the night."

~ Desirea