I am continually amazed, shocked and blown away by people and their actions on a weekly; no let’s make that daily, yes, a daily basis. For example, when I come in on a Monday morning and hear stories from authorities or agencies about a new case of trafficking or at lunchtime when I want to heat up my leftovers and find that our microwave is broken, I just have to ask the question, “Really??” …Obviously some realities are harder to swallow than others, but the question "Really??" has become a source of sanity.
The root of the word really is real.
When you know something is happening for real and someone acts in a way that suggests that what you know is real isn’t reality that’s when you need the question: “Really??” Or when someone does something so outrageous and ridiculous that it’s hard to believe it’s reality, you need the question: “Really??” I found myself asking this question so much that a friend and I started to joke that it would be funny if I had a teddy bear I could squeeze that would ask: “Really??” You know, the kind you get from the Build a Bear Workshop where you can put recorded voices in the hands?
The next day, I decided to incorporate the idea of a REALLY Bear into my trainings and found that many people could relate to this imaginary bear. It brings lots of laughs from participants and helps them to engage and connect at the trainings. The REALLY Bear, I found, breaks the tension of such a hard dose of reality.
Last week, I received one of the most amazing and thoughtful gifts from some trainees. It was REALLY Bear! His name is Roger Really and when you squeeze him he asks the question, “Really??” …dripping with the perfect attitude; softened by a cuddly yet professional appearance in a tie.

The Love146 lunch table is generally a place for some pretty silly conversations. But today it got real and it prompted me to bring out Roger Really. I was informing staff about a high school I am scheduled to go into had sent out letters/permission slips home to parents to inform them about Love146, the issue of trafficking and how important an issue it is for their kids to learn about it. It gave parents the opportunity to opt their child out of the program and the child would be given an alternate assignment. I was in touch with some of the school officials today who said parents are already opting their kids out of the program. These parents are saying child sex trafficking is not a problem.
REALLY????????????
I was immediately frustrated and perplexed. It is a shame that I am so accustomed to how real and prevalent a reality this is and I realize not everyone else is. But all I kept saying in my head was “C’mon, really??” What’s even more frustrating is that knowing, in reality, there have been recent confirmed cases of child trafficking happening in the very town where the school is located. Really.
Lamont Hiebert, co-founder of Love146, always asks the kids when we go into schools, “Are we going to bury our heads in the sand and act like this doesn’t exist or should we talk real about this?” What happened today, goes to show how important awareness and education are. It’s so important not bury our heads in the sand. This problem is real and our kids really need to be defended and empowered.
Let’s acknowledge the reality of this problem, create awareness, and stop another child from being trafficked. Otherwise, Roger Really is going to get really upset. Really?? Really.
Nicole von Oy, MSW, is Love146's Training & Outreach Coordinator. Read more about our U.S. Programs here.

LOVE this! "Really??" is one
Submitted by Kim (not verified) on Tue, 10/25/2011 - 3:48am.
LOVE this! "Really??" is one of my fave expressions...I'm hittin' the hubs up for a Roger Really Bear for Christmas :-) Great word, thanks...
Unfortunately, it gets worse.
Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Tue, 10/25/2011 - 4:00am.
Unfortunately, it gets worse. The one to three day assemblies or classes have been proven an ineffective way for teaching youth a topic. This doesn't mean that Love146 or other organizations should stop going into schools, but unless there is student-driven interest in starting a LOVE146 club or if LOVE146 is being asked to speak to a Social Studies or Health class - the time and effort may be better spent elsewhere. One trafficking prevention idea is to get comprehensive sexual health classes and health care on school campuses in Connecticut.
The program that Love146
Submitted by Nicole von Oy on Tue, 10/25/2011 - 8:31am.
The program that Love146 offers in schools, community settings and short term congregate care settings are not just one or three day assemblies. It is a four session educational workshop series. Each workshop is 45 minutes long and is designed to facilitate discussion with teens about commercial sexual exploitation and human trafficking, their perceptions on healthy and unhealthy dating relationships, as well as how the media plays a large role in glamorizing the culture. It provides information on how students can guard themselves and their friends while breaking down myths and misconceptions of prostitution. We aim to facilitate this program in Health classes but have also taught them in History, Sociology and English classes. Students are given opportunities to ask questions and explore their opinions on the issue. Being that we are reaching the health classes, I'd like to say we are enhancing the sexual health education portion of the classes we teach in. We have had kids disclose their abuse/exploitation and have had kids who have gone from idolizing pimps to seeing them as they really are; abusive manipulators who rape, beat and exploit the vulnerable. Students have initiated interest as well, prompting teachers and administrators to request Love146 programs in their schools. We've also had students become engaged abolitionists after we visited their schools. I hope this answers your suggestions-- all to say we couldn't agree more and think we may be on the same track. We've found the workshops to be extremely effective. Thanks for the conversation!
This "Really" bear is a great
Submitted by COBanion (not verified) on Mon, 11/07/2011 - 2:26pm.
This "Really" bear is a great idea. Roger Really seems to be a great stress reliever. Maybe I should invest in one for Christmas? And, as I was reflecting on this blog I agree. Really? How can parents tell their children that trafficking is not an issue? Especially if it's in their hometown. Maybe parents want to keep their children sheltered from this harsh reality, but I feel they need to make their children more aware of what's happening so upcoming generations can make a difference and change in the future.
This was the topic at dinner
Submitted by Kimberly (not verified) on Thu, 12/15/2011 - 7:36am.
This was the topic at dinner last night! You came to my daughters school (the one you mentioned here) and after the basketball game last night it was the topic of conversation! Her and her friends were very "touched" by this presentation and "REALLY" also came up a few times... a bunch of boys were laughing at a few serious things being said (my daughter come out with) REALLY I wanted to slap them this is REAL!!! one of her friends said her mom opted her out....REALLY (she ended up back in after a phone call to her mom) I'm very open and honest with my daughter and all her friends and I think this was a GREAT topic...it also opens doors to all the "other" teenage topics that they need to talk about. Like not leaving your friends at a party ...or calling if you get into trouble....always be aware of your surroundings...etc. GOOD JOB!!!! REALLY!!!
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