22
Dec
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The un-sexy truth. Posted by Desirea Rodgers

 

 

By the time my husband and I leave Cambodia we will have been here for almost a full month. In the last 7+ years with Love146 I have had the life changing opportunity to spend time with children who at one point had been sex slaves and are now safe. One of the many things that those experiences has taught me is the absolute necessity of both strong, effective aftercare and prevention programs.

 

 

 

As everyone knows (or can guess) raising awareness of these issues, and funds for these programs, can be challenging in a few ways. As a society we seem to love the dramatic. All you have to do is turn on the television to watch the latest life and death drama or relationship building or breaking reality show. Our media seems to be inundated with drama, the bigger the better. Universally, humans love story and it seems that Americans love the dramatic story. Let me say that I'm not making any judgement, it is a subjective observation. I've also witnessed this in Love146. People respond to aftercare because (I think) of the drama of the story. The dark side of these children's stories is a horrible thing that no one delights in (except the perpetrators of course). It is, I think, the deep, joyful and miraculous nature of the dramatic restoration of the children that is responded to. The hope of abolition. The belief that change is possible. Now, I'm not saying there is anything at all wrong with that, indeed one of the major reasons that I'm an abolitionist today is because I have seen that hope; I have danced with survivors. The challenge comes when one aspect of your work becomes sexy (I use this term in the modern colloquial, meaning attractive and yes, I realize I will probably get flack for it but this blog is a forum to create discussion, healthy and respectful debate, education and ideas so I invite your thoughts on every post) and another aspect remains less funded and/or advocated for because it lacks the drama.

 

 

 

I met a 12 year old boy a few days ago who is in one of the prevention projects here. This project is located in a small village close to the Thai border and holds an "informal" (informal simply means non government) school for children who would otherwise be turned away from public school because they couldn't pay, were too far behind their grades, or would be working - most likely at the border which is plagued by traffickers.

 

 

This program then provides assistance so that they can get back into the public school while still attending the informal school daily. Most often the children in this project soon reach the top of their public school classes. What if I told you that this boy's big dream in life, the one he thinks about everyday, is to harvest rice and plow fields in order to help his mother. He has learned to read and write, he passes his exams, attends school regularly so that he can harvest rice and plow fields. How does that make you feel? What do you think about that? I will tell you something I am ashamed of. When he first told me that he wanted to be a rice harvester and plow fields when he grew up, my immediate reaction was "Oh, I can't tell that story." I'm ashamed. Because his answer wasn't a doctor or teacher etc. because his dream didn't seem big enough I didn't want to tell his story. It wasn't dramatic enough, it wasn't hopeful enough, it wasn't sexy enough and I thought you would think the same thing.

 

 

 

After that thought I looked at this boy. He is 12 but he looks 7 or maybe 8. He has 3 siblings, he has parents that still go to the border to work, he has a grandmother who he lives with, he has been in and out of school but is now doing so well. No, his dream might not be "sexy", it might not make anyone's newsletter or bring a tear to anyone's eyes but it is beautiful and meaningful. I sat there imagining him as an adult . I imagined he had a wife and children. To our standards he would likely still be poor but to his village he would not. I imagined him being proud of his work, proud of his wife and proud of his children who attend the local school (he told me he would send his future children to school). This is abolition is it not? A family, and thus a village, who do not sell their children or put them at risk of trafficking but imbue them with value, respect and education so that they can dream as well. It may not be sexy but it is abolition.

 

 

 

Along with you, I rejoice in the aftercare programs Love146 has implemented. I will shortly leave Cambodia being equally excited and inspired over the Love146 Asia prevention programs, this quiet front on the war of abolition.

 

Desirea

This is amazing, Desirea. I


This is amazing, Desirea. I aspire to have eyes that see the world the way you do.

Brilliant


Brilliant post Desirea!! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I am imagining with you...and find myself smiling. You never cease to cause my hope meter to go up a notch.

Love Reigns


This was the best possible way to start Christmas holiday, reading this. Thank you!

Beautiful


Unfortunately, you're right. If there's no shock value or emotional response elicited, often people find things dull and don't really respond. It's a sad testimony to the searing of our hearts by an inundation of "reality" movies and programming.
I'm glad you chose to share the young man's dream. Who are we to belittle what God has called any of us to do, right? I mean, if we're following His plan, there will be as many rewards in Heaven for the rice harvester as there is for the most internationally known evangelist.
I love what you guys do. I'm a supporter. Be blessed!

It's true, in so many other


It's true, in so many other missions areas as well. I'm a former YWAMER, and it seems that the stateside missionaries have a harder time "glamorizing" their roles for supporters since they're not "in the field", but it takes so much support and behind the scenes work to get a missionary ON the field, many people just don't realize.

Thanks for posting this, really really great words to think about.

when what matters doesn't matter....thank you


Desirea....thank you for the reminder of the slippery places we so easily glide into, allowing true beauty, passion and human dreams to fall prey to the deadening poison of hyper-story addiction. Isn't most beauty and joy found in these simple little mundane muddy paths which are quiet and free of billboards?

For me, it is a reminder to not "hype up" what seems common or "boring" [god forgive us], but maybe it is about us really slowing down enough to realize how precious, for instance, this boys dream really is. How deeply human, and caring and reflective of the Image from which he was birthed.

QUESTIONS:

So, should we try to find words, paint pictures and wipe the dust from what is often relegated to the perifery? Should I write poems and songs about what "could have happened but was prevented" and celebrate that?

Do you [we] think our job as aboltionists in the making is to be artists who can describe that which seems to be unsensational in a way that captures peoples senses and hearts? Or, on addressing the fact that so many of us are addicted to sensation and big numbers and stats and horriffic details?

These are not rhetorical questions....I really would like feedback from some who are farther down the road than I, how to more effectively [and more healthily] invite others to join the full flow of the movement.....

You have many times inspired and helped me to think outside the busy box....

Peace and many thanks for showing colors of your time with the children Desirea.

Joel

The fact that all this boy


The fact that all this boy desired was the ability to harvest rice and plow fields - that should be attractive; that should be "sexy" because he desired so much, something that we so easily take for granted. Simplicity is often overlooked "sexiness". Love does not need a hollywood dramatic story to move. Love acts even if no one has the eyes to see it.

Yes


I agree with all here, and I also thank you Desirea for this reminder, and for your honesty.

I really admire this boy's dream; it is beautiful, humble, and selfless. Thanks so much for sharing this. <3

yeah, won't bring a tear to


yeah, won't bring a tear to anyone's eyes except mine.

I work for a major US non profit, and I see it day in and day out. People want the big shiny news stories--the homeless guy that now has a job and is self supporting. The single mother that put herself through school and now makes real money. but those aren't the norm, even for success stories.

Success is getting that homeless guy to receive mental health counseling. It's getting that single mother to get *any* job that'll help pay her bills. It's keeping that child born homeless from growing up homeless--never mind if he makes it into the fabled middle class or not. Success doesn't need to be dramatic or photogenic to be heartwarming.

you leave me feeling ashamed


you leave me feeling ashamed of myself and YET challenged to be a warrior for the purity of truth...as you so demonstrate with your words and your pictures!

Thank you so much, Desirea,


Thank you so much, Desirea, for taking a risk in your blogging and writing about a subject that may seem "un-sexy" to others, let alone the story that you shared about this young boy. I think you're absolutely right that we are "drama junkies" at times. We tend to gravitate toward stories that knock us off our feet or "entertain" us even...as sad as that sounds given the subject. I think the story you shared about this boy is completely worthy of being told and yes...I agree with you that that is true abolition-the freedom to dream. And the freedom to pursue that dream wholeheartedly. That is the essence of abolition. And I must remember as a fellow abolitionist that that is what I'm fighting for-their freedom. I can't give them dreams of mine for them to fulfill, like, "I hope they become a doctor," or, "I hope they win the nobel peace prize for some humanitarian cause after they're rescued," etc. It's simply loving to love and leaving the rest up to God. Thanks for this beautiful story. There is beauty in simplicity, so I hope to hear more "simple," "un-sexy" stories about children pursuing simple dreams after their free. The story made my day. Really :)

Drama


Thank you for your insight. I wholeheartedly agree that we often look for the sexy stories and find fulfilment in them, as though they are the only stories that matter. I'm thankful that you were able to share the boy's dream with us, and that you can affirm his goals, as they are beautiful!

Inspiring words Desirea,


Inspiring words Desirea, thank you for sharing you thoughts, I am glad you have found the time to process through the things seen and heard here. You are beautiful, thank you for these words, they mean a lot to me. jayne

Thank you.


Hi Joel, I deeply apologize for such a late response. Returning from Cambodia had me jumping right back into work and I've been running ever since! I would love to continue our discussion, for me this is why the blog is important. Discussion, education, debate etc. this is how we will learn from one another and become more effective in bringing about abolition.I will look over your questions and respond with some thoughts next week. Lets keep going! Thanks so much, Desirea

Thank you.


Thank you anonymous ("yeah won't bring a tear to"). I gave a sad chuckle of understanding as I read your response. Thank you for posting your perspective. I celebrate your successes.

Brilliant blog. Filling to


Brilliant blog. Filling to take holiday and enjoy. I also want to appreciate pictures in this blog. I am patient of anxiety disorder and on a medication like xanax tablet. But after reading your blog I am filling better and enthusiast...

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